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Fake News

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He asked for it, he can get it. Fire with fire for a little bit. Top ten news stories:

- president-runnerup trump removed the bust of Martin Luther King Jr., in keeping with his executive orders banning all statues of black people on federal property.

- president-runnerup trump has the lowest approval ratings of anyone in history. But even one point lower than that, to make it fake, since he actually does.

- president-runnerup trump said that he invented the American sport of baseball, with his coining of the phrase “big league”.

- president-runnerup trump sued mother nature.

- president-runnerup trump instructed head of the NSC Bannon to draw straws to find a country to be nuked to show our strength and scare others.

- president-runnerup trump instructed the Justice Department to interpret the constitution’s use of the word “person” to include corporations but not women.

- president-runnerup trump said two true things today.

- president-runnerup trump saw a map of the Americas and said, wait, so not everything below the US is Mexico?

- president-runnerup trump directed that being a citizen of the US during his presidency counts as work. Instant full employment.

- president-runnerup trump threatened to deport Melania when she said she just can’t pretend anymore.


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